There was a young lady named Perkins,
Who had a great fondness for gherkins;
She went to a tea
And ate twenty-three,
Which pickled her internal workin’s.
There was a young boy of Quebec,
Who fell into the ice to his neck.
When asked, “Are you friz?”
He replied, “Yes, I is,
But we don’t call this cold in Quebec.”
~ Rudyard Kipling
There was a young girl of Tacoma
Who rejected her sheepskin diploma.
She knew it was made with
A lamb she had played with
And recognized by the aroma.
~ Ogden Nash
Said a pretty young student from Smith
Whose virtue was largely a myth,
“Try hard as I can,
I can’t find a man
Whom it’s fun to be virtuous with.”
There once was a spinsterish lass
Who constructed her panties of brass.
When asked, “Do they chafe?”
She said, “Yes, but I’m safe
Against pinches, and snakes in the grass.”